Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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