I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i believe in u and ur pee
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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