How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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