i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The beer is more important than you right now.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
