he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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