SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
