i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
