i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize