Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize