A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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