My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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