Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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