I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
A+ Viking dick
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
