Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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