break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
