the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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