Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize