So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
