PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
