there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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