i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize