things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
