Cold hands, warm shart.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you inspire me to be a worse person
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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