I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
