Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
