We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize