Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize