I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
