My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
