I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
