You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
