his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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