Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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