did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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