she kept yelling 'call me bella'
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
