Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
