Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
organizing the empties. That sober.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
