she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
