Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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