You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize