This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
