Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
