I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize