That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
