moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
