the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Randomize
