Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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