great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
