We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
