im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
