Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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