**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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