she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
