My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
COCAINE IS GR8
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
