What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
