Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
