Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
