so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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