The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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