your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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