i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
