I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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