the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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