In the future we'll all be gay
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
