so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize